can give the slap in the face, that shows no one is behind the wheel. Then loss of control is a boon. 'Yes, I may not decide what happens, but I do decide how I deal with it.' Get lost. Whether something scares us, what emotion arises and how fast the heart beats, is beyond our control. 'No, I mean, I choose what I think about it (afterwards).' Exactly, also in our minds and for the ninety-nine percent of nonsense that we watch every day, we think we have our finger in the pie. Well, I'll be gentle. I will lie that we do indeed decide what we think. Ego thinks that is fantastic, because this is a lie in itself. It keeps deception alive. Come on. Simple test. Think about a pink elephant for an hour. No, eh? You don't have to look for hardship, but being open to and to take advantage of is no norm, right? Fear of this, that, hurt, rejection, the unknown, change, silence and death. Even getting alive isn't a piece of cake. 'The living corpse' accommodates this attitude. For example, I addressed someone who was sitting as such during a lively conversation. Judging by the response, it certainly knew how we as humans can get stuck in negligible rules. In addition to all kinds of pseudo-mature-I-demand-respect-and-have-expectations, that you are not allowed to take water into a makeshift temple. This seems to be written in a Sastra. Now I don't just rebel. At that time I took something that made me drink plenty of water. So that I would like to have a bottle ready. Wherever I was. Of course, aside from the fact that our bodies are made up of quite a bit, this didn't count for the closed mind I was negotiating with. I was forced to tell the person in question not to touch me. As one can see the body as a temple. Not to harm anyone's place of worship. One can feel what is not proper. No excuses. I can set rules, but they must be practical and compelling. That aside. If things don't work out, there is always the back you can turn. Fear is one thing, but if there is no way to talk about it... I cannot expect it, nor that I am of desire. Wisdom told me to leave the building while withstanding. It was the second refusal in a short time. During Kirtan from a Yoga studio, I couldn't resist drumming to the music it was playing. Which is great during singing. Between the songs there is sometimes a pause and perhaps something needs to be said. Now enthusiasm moved me to continue drumming; silences are so short, and even if it was audible, it was musical and not noisy. Long story short, I could bugger off. Especially after being confronted with the head who in turn can think about their 'love all, serve all' slogan. Live up to those words, take them back, or come out for the pretender it plays. Likewise, the idea that a teacher is needed for Kirtan. It needed to be said that whoever arranges this, has been teaching for ten years. In a call and response get together? Well, I'm not the only one who understands that there is no teacher in Kirtan. The following week I came by to provide constructive criticism to the person who arranged it. It is nice to grow in a (spiritual) society, but when the opportunity for growth disappears: turn around, leave. The same with work, relationships and yourself. Everything, actually. Rather a trial than to strive for a well-behaved 'yes, amen'. Suffering should push ones back against the wall. Until the pressure is so high, you feel the slap in the face. What is it that people mean (by spirituality)? I understand that it may have been fun to participate in a movement. When you reach for other, deeper and more appropriate ideas, you drop out. Moving is something you already do, and as soon as you are independent to dance with others, you dance on your own. You don't feel alone anyway, as you see you're not solely. Don't feel sorry for the lonely. Appealto abandonment. You may come to know that it is not what others tell you, that you cannot lose anything from it and that the upside is silent, serene solitude. Leave the flock to discover that you were never a sheep, as you look in the water where your manes hang. You can lose what you have, but how can you, for the thought that you are, 'have' anything? The body has more power over you than the other way around. Although this can place a bigger picture outside yourself which falls within your own framework of thinking. No matter how noble Bhakti, well-intentioned and cunning the ego is; don't fall for it. It's funny, that's all. Just as there is always one thought, the 'I', which is the center of sentences that are thought. Not just contend with this, as it sees other thoughts as goals, never satisfied with how things are. While one can also view these series of thoughts as a succession of letters, emptiness and nonsense. That one can see  it go by, unconvinced. That you are not the center, no matter how great the Chinese think China, ä¸åœ‹, is. Which includes a symbol, ä¸, that assumes a line through a rectangle. What arouses laughter as the earth is spherical, though pointing to the fact that China is the center of it. But well, look at me. I get square eyes from the screen where I describe not being an 'I'. Bye, dubious ambiguousness. Nor that there is an I. Like an eel, truth slips from hands, as words remain that represent some or nothing, but do not make sense. With what delusion will this pass into a peace, which is all but tense?
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